RIYADH - Massive crowds took to the streets in celebration all across the country on Wednesday as word of Daniel Schereck's arrival into the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia was made public in an announcement broadcast live from the National Guard headquarters located on the outskirts of the capital city. The brief, yet important public bulletin was telecast via a disruption to national programming last evening, simply stating, "On behalf of the National Guard, we would like to confirm recent speculation that VinnellArabia English teacher Daniel Schereck has, in fact, arrived in the Kingdom and began instructing several months ago. We welcome him with open arms and look forward to an immediate across the board improvement in national English abilities." The Royal Family was unavailable for immediate comment and personal details regarding the new wonder-instructor were not disseminated at the time of the announcement. VINNELLARABIA - In a stunning announcement this morning, senior officials on the VinnellArabia compound verified an undercover tip leaked to local news sources regarding the employment status of the new-hire instructor Donald McDingles, brought into the school at the end of August 2000. In the terse statement, officals wrote, "Due to Mr. McDingles's incompatability with the teaching environment here at VinnellArabia, we have decided to let him go." According to one annonymous source, "The pot-belliedd troll just couldn't seem to figure out how to operate the early 80's language lab cassette deck system. Perhaps he would have been successful if only we had been using 8-tracks." Details of Donald's current whereabouts are sketchy, but he is rumored to be searching for employment in either Paris, France or Missouri, USA. Prospective employers are urged to hire with caution! More information regarding this man can be attained by dialing 1-800-WE-TRAK-M.		RIYADH - According to the department of safety at the Vinnell Arabia compound, the installation program of warning alarms throughout the camp is now complete. In a communique provided to employees on the base, the alarms will be activated to provide an initial warning in the event of an emergency. Unless a test or drill has been announced, all personnel are instructed to take the following actions in the event that the alarm is heard: For personnel in highrise buildings: 1. When the signal to evacuate is heard, individuals should imediately evacuate their building and proceed to the nearest swimming pool. Do not stop to take possessions with you or perform any other action which would delay your departure from the building 2. When you arrive at the swimming pool, sit down with your back against the wall closest to the outside of the camp. For personnel not in the highrises: 1. If indoors, move to an interior room without windows, such as a bathroom. Leave the doors open. Lie flat on the floor on your stomach and cover your head with your arms. If outdoors, enter the nearest building or get between buildings and take the same actions. In the event of an emergency, all base personel are requested to remain calm and stationary until the "all clear" is given, though camp officials have not specified exactly what the "all clear" signal will be. As always, Camp Vinnell employees are asked to keep their eyes open and remain vigilent at all times.